Jun. 24th, 2011

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Am watching Ye Olde Historical Thingy. It's not proper history so they're not being specific about when, which makes it difficult to call various bits anachronistic. History Mash, as per usual. But the bit that really irritates me is the clothes. I know there's so many more things to complain about. The hair, for one, where you can tell it is History because they have forgotten combs. You know how long humans have had combs? No, me either, cause it was at least stone age tech. And it's not like modern hair products make that much of a difference. Hair should just look like hair, not big wild nests on assorted heads. But the clothes bug me because they don't seem to understand which bits are difficult and which bits are easy. They've done that thing where you can tell it is Ye Olde Clothes because all the stitching is huge. I've sewn better seams than I'm looking at right now, and I can't sew for toffee, I end up attaching things to my thumbs. And yet the fabrics are all tight modern things, or obvious synthetics. I know, bad cheap fabric of our time, but seriously? The ever popular sack cloth isn't terribly much better. And the random bits of leather or metal I can only assume are Ye Olde Fetish cause they're bugger all use as armour. And everyone is wearing Cheap Olde Brown, but some of them are wearing it beaded or under frilly knitting or with big gem broaches or patchwork (in shades of brown) or tapestry edging (again in shades of brown). So far the only one who isn't wearing brown is evil. Apparently only evil people waste money on dye that isn't brown. There are cheap dyes that are not brown. Cheap plant dyes in multiple colors. You know why early English army wore red coats? Red was cheap. So why is everyone in sight wearing brown? Simple and difficult is mixed up together for no readily apparent reason and the clothes don't even make visual sense, let alone cultural.

:-p

... okay, I'm over it. It's just what they can use in clothes is all tied up with economics and status and all sorts of interesting things. Also, people have throughout the ages invented clothes they would actually want to wear. When TV tries to invent something new it keeps on ending up with stuff that would do nothing well and takes more effort than actual practical stuff. *sigh*


PS: Boots. Boots! I understand using 20th century boots, but is it really that hard to not put them in close up?



ETA2: Okay, I can't even make visual sense of what I'm looking at right now. I looks like fish. Those big flat ones with the funny mottling, skates or rays or something. Only it also looks stapled to his chest. With friends.
Clearly my eyes must be wrong.
Or stapling fish to your chest is secretly uber badass.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
When a woman takes over the kingdom and is therefore Evil and Wrong
... no really, all she has done is kill her father for murdering her mother, and beating her up when she turns up ready to forgive her him. How is this meant to establish her as evil?

actually I did keep watching a bit

then The Hero has a mother who is still alive, and I figured that would last about five minutes. More like an hour with commercial breaks, as it turns out.

Sod this.

Dear Television: Half of us are women and some of us want to rule the world too. We are not evil and dead. No, really. Sitting right here. Breathing and everything.



I've got some parts and pieces of an urban fantasy in mind, and part of what I've got is an evil queen. She's a spider queen trying to keep England trapped in a version of the Good Old Days that doesn't have room for the 20th century, let alone the 21st. I just looked at that picture of Elizabeth I in the big white skirt and wondered how many legs you could fit under there and, tada, character. She's evil cause she thinks she should just stay queen forever, evil aristo stuck in the past, sending other people to die for her. She's a queen cause we have a queen, though to be fair she doesn't seem to be powerful enough to send people to die for her, they just do it in her name. But now I'm thinking, do I want another evil queen? Seriously? If the opposite of evil queen is good king then hell no, but even if the opposite is good anarchy, or democracy, do I want another evil queen?


Maybe I don't need a king or a queen. Maybe the masks theme can turn out to be empty. It's all empty symbols at the top and people are dying in the name of a dusty shell.
... it would still be a dusty shell with a girl face if I'm making it here-now-British.
... maybe it can be a dusty legend shell.

Maybe there's a King and a Queen and they're both British legend people. Except legends don't tend to have powerful Queens matched up with powerful Kings. There's a Queen without a King a few times, but not the Royal Couple much. Not so the Queen is famous as a strong politician anyways.


Also if they're empty at the top I still need like a Grand Vizier. Do we have one of those in British legend?


Even if the spider queen in a great big white web frock is a great image, I don't think I want another evil queen, actually, thanks.

Also spiders are pretty cool. Even if they give me the shudders. There's a whole weaving spinning creation thing going on there.

I don't think I want a Good Queen either. I'm not a big fan of queens. People we can vote out when they suck work much better. At least they should if there was anyone to vote in who didn't suck just as bad.

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beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
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