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beccaelizabethAlso also Buffyverse meta:
That one review that made it all about bad boyfriends... okay, I get where you're coming from, Buffy had a fascinating map in that respect, though what is with all the Riley erasure and simplifying it down to Didn't Love Him?
But they seemed to conclude with saying passion is what makes life worth living, and meant specifically romantic passion.
And I mean, they might have been quoting? "If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow." That sort of thing.
But, small point to remember, that was serial killer Angelus talking.
We do not uncritically accept the admittedly artistic monologues of serial killers.
Saying without romantic passion, the kind that leads us into bad relationships, our lives would be empty? Eeew. I mean, way to write off aro aces there. But also, eeew. And saying we have no choice about who we love? Yeah, but, no. Love is a choice. You wake up every morning and put the work in. You learn someone and learn how to see them. You decide to fit your lives together. And love is a promise. A commitment to act a certain way, in the beloved's best interests. And yeah, love and passion can turn up for unhelpful people, but, after that, you grow it or you don't.
And granted I'm sitting here perpetually single and baffled by most humans, but still, pretty sure I'm right even for people with the big overrides in their heads. We get plenty of choices. Just some are more appealing than others.
Plus how can someone see fandom and only understand passion as a romance thing?
... wait, 'ship wars, fic read as primarily about a 'ship, I can see it. But. Wrong.
People get full of energy for many things, and it can lead them astray in far more contexts, or drive them on to greatness.
Forgetting that and flattening every relationship that doesn't work to bad boyfriend passion? Does story such a great disservice, let alone people.
Buffy had many passions and many loves and each of them changed her and helped her and hurt her in various ways, because bumping into other humans does that.
But romantic passion isn't the only way to do it.
That one review that made it all about bad boyfriends... okay, I get where you're coming from, Buffy had a fascinating map in that respect, though what is with all the Riley erasure and simplifying it down to Didn't Love Him?
But they seemed to conclude with saying passion is what makes life worth living, and meant specifically romantic passion.
And I mean, they might have been quoting? "If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow." That sort of thing.
But, small point to remember, that was serial killer Angelus talking.
We do not uncritically accept the admittedly artistic monologues of serial killers.
Saying without romantic passion, the kind that leads us into bad relationships, our lives would be empty? Eeew. I mean, way to write off aro aces there. But also, eeew. And saying we have no choice about who we love? Yeah, but, no. Love is a choice. You wake up every morning and put the work in. You learn someone and learn how to see them. You decide to fit your lives together. And love is a promise. A commitment to act a certain way, in the beloved's best interests. And yeah, love and passion can turn up for unhelpful people, but, after that, you grow it or you don't.
And granted I'm sitting here perpetually single and baffled by most humans, but still, pretty sure I'm right even for people with the big overrides in their heads. We get plenty of choices. Just some are more appealing than others.
Plus how can someone see fandom and only understand passion as a romance thing?
... wait, 'ship wars, fic read as primarily about a 'ship, I can see it. But. Wrong.
People get full of energy for many things, and it can lead them astray in far more contexts, or drive them on to greatness.
Forgetting that and flattening every relationship that doesn't work to bad boyfriend passion? Does story such a great disservice, let alone people.
Buffy had many passions and many loves and each of them changed her and helped her and hurt her in various ways, because bumping into other humans does that.
But romantic passion isn't the only way to do it.